7.30.2010

Like a bonk to the head.

Over the last couple of months I feel like I am finally gaining some insight into my own mother. This may sound funny but you would have to know my family to understand the situation. My parents were always emotionally guarded people. To this day we don't voice affection or feelings for one another. It is just the way we are and always have been. With my children I am entirely different - so no worries. I make up for in spades what I never had in my own childhood. Among my many realizations about my mother has been the inkling that she is not comfortable around people but children especially. It isn't that she doesn't like them but rather that she doesn't understand them. This is likely why she never bonded with her own children. Emotionally she can't reach out in a way that makes people want to reach back. It is sad because I really think she would love to have bonds with the people in her own family but she just can't...Sad huh?